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59%N2+21%H2+ 9%CO2+7%methane +4%O2

30 Jan

Disclaimer: The following article is rated “R” . Reader discretion is advised.

I was doing a review the other day for one of my colleagues.We were alone in a conf room ,going through his review papers and discussing about it. He has a very deep voice and I usually have to strain and keep my ears wide open to listen to him. On that day, his voice was like a sinewave, going up and down which was very unrealistic . Hmmm..I couldn’t understand his tension as he had a very good review after all…The room was very quite , and then I heard it….just before he hit the peak of the sinewave….a distinct whining sound at first..It varied from a whining to rumbling,occasionally a car backfiring sound too..I acted normal without any facial contortions , trying to hide my embarrasment lest I embarrass him. I wish I could pacify him with a “Been there, done that”…Alas!! We cannot talk about that, can we.? We know that we can control it (in Tamil, it is called “Amukki Vasikaradhu”) and we do too in most occasions, which can be nastier than the accompanying noise. Hey !! Dont be embarassed anymore. It is after all a mixture of gases as follows
59%N2+21%H2+9%CO2+7%methane+4%O2 and guess what 1% of its makeup is what makes it stink…I got all this info from a book called “Why do men have nipples”. The book doesnot talk just about nipples, but rather gives lot of trivias in the real world. It is a very good bathroom reader.
Some more intersting facts about this mixture:
The temp at its time of creation is 98.6 F ( close to body temp,duh..)
They have been clocked at a speed of ten feet per second.( Maybe the equation might change while running :-)).
A person produces about half a litre per day.( If you eat beans, brocolli, I think you can hit one litre).
The gas that makes it stink is hydrogen sulfide with sulfur as the smelly component.(Cabbage,eggs,beans have more sulphur).
Here comes the finale: Most people pass it about fourteen times a day. If you have never heard someone , rest assured that they are humans after all and should be passing out atleast half a litre….Ha.Ha..thats consoling.
Next time, you are in an emabarrassing situation, buckle up and just tell them its just hydrogen sulfide…..Happy “….ing”

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8 Comments

Posted by on January 30, 2006 in From AM-KICKING blog, Humor.. or not?

 

8 responses to “59%N2+21%H2+ 9%CO2+7%methane +4%O2

  1. Mindframes

    January 30, 2006 at 5:46 pm

    Talk about twisted sense of humor..;)

    I wonder why someone hasnt invented a Silencer+Hydrogen Sulphide filter which can be plugged in to compensate for the detrimental effects of human outbursts. I am sure there is an enormous market potential…

    I take back my comment on products… Check these out…

    http://www.under-tec.com/work.php
    http://shop.store.yahoo.com/buyinprivate/flatfarfilun.html
    http://www.flat-d.com/products.html

     
  2. Calm & Serene

    January 30, 2006 at 9:23 pm

    Thottiya kalakkittae Shoba – Ha ha ha!

     
  3. BrainWaves

    January 31, 2006 at 6:46 am

    Are you sure it is not Methane which gives the “aroma”?

    Not a very easy blog to write for most.

     
  4. bumblebee

    February 6, 2006 at 2:50 am

    I had no knowledge of its composition. Thanks for enlightening us. From what I see, I think this mixture may be beneficial for plants?

     
  5. Survivor

    February 6, 2006 at 5:01 am

    Maybe I should go outside , close to the plants,next time when I feel like…

     
  6. BrainWaves

    February 6, 2006 at 12:34 pm

    We got it when you mentioned it first time. No need to stress it twice 😉

     
  7. Mindframes

    February 6, 2006 at 7:21 pm

    Note: Atmosphere contains 78.1% N2 and 20.9% O2.

    Interestingly, plants take carbon-di-oxide, water and sunlight to generate oxygen and fruits/leaves (which are necessarily carbon). Humans consume the carbon created by plants (in the form of carbohydrates) and release carbon-di-oxide for the plants. So, Oxygen can be considered as a plant’s flatulence as well..:)…Since plants use carbon-di-oxide only during sunlight, to enhance the performance of a plant’s growth, survivor should do what she tends to do in broad daylight…;)

     
  8. IamwhatIam

    February 7, 2006 at 12:49 am

    The guy who sits right across from me eats a lots of fruits and veggies. I am sure everyone sitting in our area can hear him when he does “that”. But everyone acts like they did not hear anything. Including me. Luckily, since our chair are atleast 10 feet from each other I never had to find if it was accompanied by any aroma.

     

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