Disclaimer: The following article is rated “R” . Reader discretion is advised.
I was doing a review the other day for one of my colleagues.We were alone in a conf room ,going through his review papers and discussing about it. He has a very deep voice and I usually have to strain and keep my ears wide open to listen to him. On that day, his voice was like a sinewave, going up and down which was very unrealistic . Hmmm..I couldn’t understand his tension as he had a very good review after all…The room was very quite , and then I heard it….just before he hit the peak of the sinewave….a distinct whining sound at first..It varied from a whining to rumbling,occasionally a car backfiring sound too..I acted normal without any facial contortions , trying to hide my embarrasment lest I embarrass him. I wish I could pacify him with a “Been there, done that”…Alas!! We cannot talk about that, can we.? We know that we can control it (in Tamil, it is called “Amukki Vasikaradhu”) and we do too in most occasions, which can be nastier than the accompanying noise. Hey !! Dont be embarassed anymore. It is after all a mixture of gases as follows
59%N2+21%H2+9%CO2+7%methane+4%O2 and guess what 1% of its makeup is what makes it stink…I got all this info from a book called “Why do men have nipples”. The book doesnot talk just about nipples, but rather gives lot of trivias in the real world. It is a very good bathroom reader.
Some more intersting facts about this mixture:
The temp at its time of creation is 98.6 F ( close to body temp,duh..)
They have been clocked at a speed of ten feet per second.( Maybe the equation might change while running :-)).
A person produces about half a litre per day.( If you eat beans, brocolli, I think you can hit one litre).
The gas that makes it stink is hydrogen sulfide with sulfur as the smelly component.(Cabbage,eggs,beans have more sulphur).
Here comes the finale: Most people pass it about fourteen times a day. If you have never heard someone , rest assured that they are humans after all and should be passing out atleast half a litre….Ha.Ha..thats consoling.
Next time, you are in an emabarrassing situation, buckle up and just tell them its just hydrogen sulfide…..Happy “….ing”