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Theory of Advice

01 Mar

It was my perception that advices are a complete load of crap. I always felt that it was very easy to give advice because it costs nothing to you and you are not the one to follow it. I beleive that, most people cannot completely replace themselves in others’ shoes to come up with an advice that would reflect the same thought process that someone is going through. Truth be told, I myself give a lot of advices though the internal contradiction always haunted my mind when I gave one. I listened to a talk today which gave an interesting perspective about advices and it changed my perception of things.

In a nutshell, an advice is considered only as effective as your detachment of personal and emotional feelings on the matter under discussion. I thought about it. It makes perfect sense. Whenever personal and emotional feelings get on the way, rational decisions are seldom made. Typically, when we need advices, we need a rational eye which is void of all the emotional involvement that we encounter. And thats what we get from our friends and families. There is no point complaining about why they didnt feel the same way as we did. Because, they never will and they never should. As I analysed it more, I figured that it is probably a right thing to do to ask or give advices to others. Another way to think about it is that, if you find yourself in an emotionally intense situation, it might help if we can visualise ourselves as part of a movie or a friend who is going through similar situation and find a solution to the problem at hand. The visualisation will do the trick of detachment for you. Getting advices when you really dont need them is a completely different story…Thinking about it, is this entire blog an uncalled for advice?…:)

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7 Comments

Posted by on March 1, 2006 in From AM-KICKING blog

 

7 responses to “Theory of Advice

  1. BrainWaves

    March 1, 2006 at 1:25 am

    Here is an idea/advice.

    We should ask people to give advice in writing unanimously.

    Most of the time we don’t like advice because we judge the person who is advicing us (and think whether s/he can do this or not etc). Advantage with this method is, we can read that advice without that bias.

    But the flip side is, the person who advices will not enjoy it. Meaning, most of the time we advice mainly because of the importance we get (solving other’s problem is secondary).

     
  2. Survivor

    March 1, 2006 at 1:34 am

    I dont think we get rational advices from friends and families. They will be definitely emotionally biased , though not always. I guess thats why we have counselors.

    I definitely agree with the detachment part.That has been my motto in difficult times and thats what helps too.

     
  3. Mindframes

    March 1, 2006 at 7:27 pm

    Brainwaves: I agree with ur point about the judgemental feedback loop that exists between the adviser and the advisee…

    Survivor: My statement looks at the simplest version of the advice. Given a situation, which is deemed painful and tense for a person, will he/she be able to make a rational decision? I think, anyone else who looks at the same situation without emotional involvement should be able to express a genuine solution. There could be a question about the validity of the genuine solution. But, the point I am trying to make is that, anyone else but you, should be able to suggest a fairly rational solution if they are not personally involved in the situation at hand. I am making an implicit assumption that a problem can be felt to the greatest degree only by the person experiencing it.

     
  4. bumblebee

    March 2, 2006 at 3:47 am

    I agree that the best conclusion can be arrived at when emotions are not involved.

    However, I fantasize going to a relative and saying,”Hey, I followed your advice to the word and see what a big mess I am in!” atleast just for fun!

     
  5. Mindframes

    March 2, 2006 at 6:18 pm

    One interesting thought came to my mind… If someone is already under a tough situation, assuming that they are not fit for making any rational decisions, I dont know how rational they would be to recognize a rational/irrational decision when they are presented with one… So, it is possible that following someone’s advice when we are already in a delusional state might only cause problems… Assuming that a majority of relatives are irrational, the fact that we follow their advice by itself signifies that we are in an irrational state of mind…:)

     
  6. Saumya

    March 2, 2006 at 8:57 pm

    You haven’t mentioned about correctional advice…advice by somebody to correct a behaviour that is not causing you any harm or giving you any problems, but is affecting those around you in some way.

    This advice is what is important from family and close friends – because they alone can point out the irritant, and still have your best interests in mind.

     
  7. Mindframes

    March 2, 2006 at 11:03 pm

    thats a different perspective…I have to agree with you saumya..

     

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