Suresh is out running his relay for the India Literacy Project and I am enjoying some alone time. I do miss him , even if it is for a day. This got me thinking. Is there such a thing as unconditional love?
“Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of one’s actions or beliefs. It is a concept comparable to true love, a term which is more frequently used to describe love between lovers. By contrast, unconditional love is frequently used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships.Unconditional love seperates the individuals from their behaviours.”
When we are born into a family, we love our parents and siblings. Parents & siblings welcome a new born with outstretched arms and I think the love that we feel for an infant is truly unconditional. But, is it the same once the kid starts growing?A child has love for its mother because he/she thinks his/her mom is the most beautiful, benevolent person in the whole world . And that feeling is imparted mainly from the mother and her love for the child. It is more of a reciprocity from then on and to me, it feels like it is no longer unconditional.Will our love be unconditional if our siblings did not show any love towards us and are hurting us by their behaviours.
To me, love is a bunch of dependencies- emotional, physical or monetary. Unless we are dependent on the other person, there would not be any relationship. If we can be detached, then that would be Sanyasa. As children, we are dependent on our parents for emotional and monetary security. Reproduction is essential to the human race and it is a matter of pride and ego to parent one’s child.Once we fall in love, we are dependent on the other person emotionally, physically and sometimes monetarily too. It is true love as long as we give each other space but it is definitely not unconditional. Anytime you live with a person, you should learn to co-exist and if you cannot , there is a problem. People are ready to divorce their spouses if they are not compatible because it is someone that they chose but when it comes to parents& siblings, there is no choice . We never get a chance to choose them.So, we have more of a tendency to accept them as they are, but even that , IMHO, is not unconditional.
People always get mushy when they talk about a mother’s love and most of the time , that is termed as unconditional. Mothers & Fathers come to our rescue whenever we need it. I should definitely know that, having a mother who has saved my life by donating one of her kidneys. When there is a calamity, undoubtedly, we all go to each other’s rescue and parents top that. But, on a day to day basis, is it truly unconditional?