The journey starts when our hero, “Indianpublix” lands at the airport on his first job assignment in the land of the free and home of the brave.(U.S.A)
He lands. He is in awe at the vastness of this country. Greeted by friends, who seem to be well-built( hear that as fat). He walks on cloud nine and is indoctrinated into subway,tacobell, mcdonalds,dennys,burger king and pizza hut. His friends and colleagues are eager to show him the ultimate mega store , COSTCO, where bachelors flock just to ogle at the electronic goods with the mind guaranteed that one can return them back anytime.Something you never get to see back home. He loves this land.
Life is not rosy and sunshine after all , especially when one is dependent on friends to chauffeur around. He has to lug his laptop, catch two buses and a rail to reach work, and do the same on the way back. The sooner he gets a license, the better it is. Constant struggle with room mates on who does the groceries, while following a cooking schedule every day. Situation becomes pathetic once the room mate gets laid off and reality hits him like a pile of bricks. Yes, he is an alien in an alien land.
He buys a car and is finally able to listen to the songs he likes. Apart from the regular Hindi CDS, he starts listening to the radio to get in touch with the western songs.Things become monotonic till one day, on his trip to the mountains,with all the huffing and puffing, he realizes that he is not just well built but is fat and looks very much like his other friends. Joins the gym, hires a personal trainer, starts lifting weights, checks his weight, muscle mass, fat content, in the mirror, on the scale after every workout, with clothes, without clothes , in all different angles.Yes , the six pack is not far off .
He could not make the six pack, but at least the weight is reduced.Here comes the holy grail of desi transformation. Time to get a new look. Yes, oh! yes, the mustache has to come out. He removes it and remembers the college days( “Nyabagam Varudhe, Mudhal mudhalaaghe arumbiye meesai Nyabagam Varudhe” -> in Tamil) when this small line of bush was his pride. In desiland, you got to do what you got to do. Sacrifices are a must to increase the eligible bachelor quotient.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how “Indianpublix” transforms into “Desifix”.This is just one of the roads to “Desifix”. The other frequent route taken starts as a Master Grad Student. But , all roads lead to this desiland.
>> Just fished out my Asterix collection last night for a re-read.
>> Have been watching one of the guys at the gym going from “Packsix” to “Desifix”.